Boob Tube Fast (or how I hoped to rediscover my life)

I was sitting in church almost 2 weeks ago now and here's what I got from it: TV = all the ills in my life right now.

OK. So, not really. But I did get to thinking, "Self, what would happen to your life if you turned off the TV all next week?" And Self dutifully answered, saying "Hmmmm. I'd have oodles of free time! I'd have time to sew! I'd have time to practice the piano! I'd have time to rediscover all the long abandoned rooms of my house!"

A rallying (but reverent) cry of "WOOHOO" went forth (in my head) and I was convinced. I mentioned it to hub, and he was game. So. The scene was set: No TV at all for one entire week. That meant no TV during lunchtime for me and no movies during hub's nightly ironing of work clothes for him.

I would L-O-V-E to report that old, elusive Mr. Time came forth, knocked at our door, presented himself with an "at your service" and a small salute, and walked in and made himself at home. Uhhh. . . . NOT! Oh, how I would love to say that I was able to finally cut out the fabric that has been hanging over my sewing machine for 8 months now. I'd like to say I relearned the piano notes I've long since forgotten because I only sit down to relearn them once every 9 months or so. I'd love to say that I sat in all kinds of various and sundry places in my house and opined on the light coming in through the windows, or on how I really should clean my baseboards.

Sadly, I can make no such confessions! I didn't feel like I had any extra time!

Oh, and about discovering "my life" or whatever existential thing I was deluding myself would happen. . . I think a whole, entire life is a lot to try and discover, even in the absence of TV.

I did, however, discover a few other things.

One was my kitchen table. We ate dinner there for the first time ever in our entire marriage. (Stop snickering at me!) It was nice. But also, it kind of made me wonder whether dinner conversation is just really overrated.

Another was that I am the boss of my time, not the other way around. While I didn't seem to have more time, I was more in charge of it! It seemed to last longer. And I didn't feel controlled or stressed by a lack of time.

Pretty cool things, I must admit. I felt empowered.

But, the dang old TV was back on over the weekend. And, sadly, it's reared its ugly head again this week. And yet, on days like I've had this week, I take small comfort in the mind-numbing qualities that TV has to offer.

Besides, how freakin' priceless is hearing someone actually use the word "tanorexic" or hearing Tim Gunn say "holla attcha boy!"? I mean, seriously!