Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Let Me Hear Your Body Talk

Women spend a lot of time thinking about their bodies. I'm sure there is some horrible statistic I could quote that would back me up, but I'm going by instinct here. We focus on the negative instead of the positive. In an attempt to counteract body dysmorphia, I present the following list.

Physical characteristics of which I am proud:

I'm very buoyant. You want to be near me when the ship goes down.

I have nicely tapered fingernails.

My feet don't generally smell, except when I wear shoes from Payless Shoe Source without socks.

I have sparse arm hair. It is blond even though I'm a brunette. Sometimes when I am nervous I like to pet it.

My skin is plump and juicy. One week I went to two funerals, one for a skinny lady and one for someone more robust. They were the same age. Guess who looked better at the viewing? That's right. I'm going to be adorable in my casket.

My hair is beautiful and shiny. It is free of dandruff, lice, and nits. I have the occasional split end and a rogue grey hair once in awhile, but it is manageable.

I have zits only occasionally. They are too scared to show up because they fear me. I am a zit murderer.

I have a good nose. Even my old best friend thought I was lying when I told her I didn't have a nose job.

My wrists don't have one of those ugly bones that stick up and look knobby.

I can sing an alto line. It's not pretty but I can do it.

I'm not sickly.

My skin tone is even. I only wear foundation on special occasions and I think I pass just fine.

My ears are small and good for hearing.

My ovaries, vagina and uterus have worked four times. Let's not push our luck, shall we?

I think I have sufficiently introduced myself. Maybe the rest of you can fill in the blanks and we could cobble together the perfect specimen!

18 comments:

Wendy said...

Loved it Celia. What a great idea to focus on the positives of our bodies. Especially since every year as I get older my list of positives seems to shrink. Great job!

diane said...

Good stuff! I have sturdy thighs!

Kimberly said...

Hee hee! I love the concept of this post - I need to make a similar list!

Heh...the last bit was my favourite.

Stella said...

God, I wish my feet didn't smell....

I have just about perfectly straight teeth without braces.

gab said...

Had to follow you over MS. Celia! Yes! Thank you for reminding us to count our blessings instead of our flaws.
I get annoyed with people (including myself) who can't stop talking about how fat they are, how old they look, how bad their hair is. That's why I enjoy you. You seem comfortable in your own (clear and even-toned) skin!

andrea said...

YAY!! thanks, olivia, for the positive post. refreshing to hear.

Christie said...

I want to look lovely in my casket, too. Might get working on that. Why do I want to lose weight? I think I should start gaining. Thanks for a good laugh.

The MomBabe said...

woot-woot! Celia's first post.

♥'d it!

Lauren said...

That was FANTASTIC!

You are so right...be grateful for what you have.

I am more grateful for my child-bearing hips now, more than ever before.

Nichole said...

LOL about the arm pit hair! Genious. . . I'm still laughing! I needed this today. . . Thanks!

Ilene said...

Oh, I want to play this game.

I have pregnancy boobs. This means that they don't droop any more.

You really do have shiny hair. What's your secret?

hayngrl101 said...

WHAT?!? Now just wait a minute. Pregnancy boobs don't droop? *sigh* I think maybe I got gipped. My little A's are droopy no matter what. And while Lefty is bigger than Righty, I am happy that its a good milk producer for the babes in my house. :)

Nortorious said...

Kimberly said "favourite". You have a british reader.
You also have nice white teeth and very little unwanted body hair.

Jenibelle said...

Thank you Nor for filling us in on the little known parts of Celia's body.

I too am comfortable in the skin I have been given. I just wish I had been given a little less skin.

Hollyween said...

Wow. Now I'm feeling pretty crappy about the post I just wrote yesterday. Maybe it would have been more positive had I read this one first.

I'm impressed with your lack of armpit hair. Wanna trade?

├╝berburber said...

Good lovin' yerself, C. Nice post. I'd choose my kids over my poochy tummy any day. OK, most days.

Anna Ruth said...

You forgot the most important part. You. The inside you. I mean the rest is fine too but, you're funny, smart and generous. There isn't a better friend (or cousin) around. The rest is all very impressive, but you mustn't take credit for it-it came with the package. The best stuff is the stuff you have cultivated over many years. That's the stuff that never ceases to amaze me. People should know about that and be envious of that.

Paige said...

Wow, anna, while that may be true it's waaay too nice to post anywhere on a blog.

Just to clarify, she has little ARM hair, not armpit hair. I can just picture her stroking that armpit hair. Or chew it like Dad.

Good post.