Wednesday, April 16, 2008

The Store Front

I've no idea if this trend is exclusive to the area in which I live, but we as women, are difficult to get to know. I find it exhausting trying to establish new friendships, especially when I am forging into new territories- new wards, new neighborhoods, you get the idea. I am wondering, why is that? Its because it is so stinkin' hard to sift through the surface appearances and pry that book open. I'm not asking to start reading the last chapter of your book, but respectfully request that you allow me to read the preface, prologue, or even an abstract of your story.

I, of all people, am probably one of the most difficult of persons to get to know. I keep many cards close to my heart; I am slow to volunteer personal information and experiences and its a rare occassion for me to spontaneously spew insignificant factoids about me, my kids, my spouse, etc. with someone I just met. So WHY would I ask you to open up when I do not take the same risks? Its because I already do.

My store front does not boast fancy, shiny, and glittery wares of a single variety. Rather, I could be likened unto a local mom-and-pop-run produce market. Among my shelves you will find not only the dirt, but vegetables and fruits of every kind. And, if you venture toward the back of the shop, you will find other not-very-tasty life-sustaining goods, and if you look hard enough, you might come across a rare spice or two. Yes, my friends, what you see is what you get. Even if you despise my green vegetables, I bet I could come up with at least one thing that you could find to your liking.

So let me introduce myself. I grew up a skinny kid, but since I married, I've struggled with my weight. A lot. I am a real girl. I've no idea what's normal, but I definitely cry more than I'd like to. Often times, I find myself falling into girl-habits, scrutinizing the next one and comparing myself to her. Am I just as pretty, am I that stern with my kids, oooh, my bum IS bigger (I hate her)!

I am LDS and I love my faith. Try as I might, I find it hard to follow every commandment all the time... I am good at keeping the WoW- some of the time: alcohol and cigarettes have never touched my virgin lips, but I struggle with my eating habits and staying generally healthy. Oh, and I definitely love me some meat. More than beans and grains.

I have been known to use cuss words. In fact, I say them a lot in my head. Usually, I can keep them in there unless I get scared, get taken by surprise, or if I get really, super duper mad.

I live in a REAL (small) house with REAL (difficult at times) kids and a REAL (character of a) husband. We have a REAL marriage; sometimes the tide goes out, but like everything in life we roll with the ebb and flowing of the tides.

I've also been known on occassion to hold grudges. (blush) Like the one time that a professor told me that I had no emotional expression and therefore could not work with kids. I pretend that I like her now, but seriously, I dread the prospect of crossing paths with her.

I honestly believe that its ok for people to not like me. But I hate it when someone doesn't like me, and its even worse if they never knew me in the first place. I compensate by trying to get them to like me. So if you don't like me... well... just, please... like me! It will save us all from a lot of work and efforts. (thank you!!)

So. Here are just a few things that might help you like me:

I can be funny. Especially if I am mad or stressed out.
I am pretty loyal.
I am a good listener.
I am objective and can offer a unique perspective.
I like all kinds of friends. I don't limit myself to socializing with members-only, or those who have kids (or not), or rich or poor, or skinnies or chubbies or pretty girls... you get the idea.

There. I think that's a good start for introductions.

Eew. 'K, I've no idea how to end this post.

So... The End.


Wendy said...

I appreciated your intro. I agree it can be hard to establish new, close friendships with other women. I think some people have so many layers to get through that it takes lots of effort. I am going to try not to be one of those women when we move to a new state in about 3 weeks. I thought you did a great job with your intro. It was very honest. Very timely for me. Thank you.

Michal said...

let's be friends! one thing that i love about blogging is that you do get to know people on a different level, faster, than you do in the real world. perhaps that makes it even more difficult to forge friendships in reality, since they take more work than virtual reality.
anyway, i'll be reading.

Kimberly said...

I like you! But then again, on a short sum-up list of me the phrase "easy to please" would have to factor in somewhere.

I used to be a pretty closed book, but I changed in recent years and now it's a matter of getting me to shut up about myself (good luck with that, really). It's something I learned from blogging, actually. I learned to be impatient and get to the best part of the friendship (the middle of the book) as quickly as possible. I've freaked out a few people I think, but mostly it's helped me make friends quickly and on a deeper level.

Love this post!

Nichole said...

Yea!! I already feel like I know you and am so glad you made the first move and came over to my blog and commented (big step, btw!).

Isn't it strange (and wonderful) that sometimes our blog friends know more about the real us than our real life friends?

I can't really convert my 2 closest girlfriends to the blogging world - I've given up really - but I'm so glad to make new friends like you!!

Thanks for giving us the tour!

Celia Fae said...

Phony makes me groany. Thanks for being real. I will be reading this post again for reference.

Stella said...

I think that the internet allows you to develop these friendships that are based exactly on what friendships and relationships should be based on, the person themself. It can't be about their car or their money or the size of their house because if we are being honest with each other (as I hope we are) than we are showing our true selves.
GReat post! Thanks for the introduction!

The MomBabe said...

now we're getting the real dirt ;)